Tonight my 2 year old, Lane, helped me give his younger brother a bath. He’s been on an independence kick lately and I’m just going with it. We’ve been struggling with speech and communication and it’s frustrating for all of us. During Deane’s bath I asked Lane if he wanted to get a bath after we finished with his brother. His response was, “no daddy bath” which was no surprise to me. Daddy usually gives Laney his baths. Recently, John’s work schedule has changed and he hasn’t been able to do any bath time with the boys. After I dressed Deane and got Lane’s bath water ready it was time to tell him that it was his turn. He whined like usual but got into the tub with a little coaxing. I remembered he’d gotten a Daniel Tiger boat bath set for his birthday and quickly put that into the tub. He was distracted for about a minute while I washed his hair. After he was all washed up I let him play in the tub for a few minutes. Once the tub was drained and he asked to get out he, of course, wanted to bring Daniel and the boat into the living room to play. I gave in and dried everything off. This particular toy comes apart very easily and I knew this was going to be a project. Every time this toy comes apart I have to put it back together. The boat came apart a few times. I put it back together until I finally got tired of putting it back together. I said to Lane, “you’re a big boy and I know you can fix it.” Sure enough, after a couple tries and a couple of fits, he put it back together on his own. We did a high five and I told him, “good job.” Tomorrow is another day but we’re both trying and making improvements. That’s all you can do.
I kept telling myself I needed to start a blog, an honest blog. So here it is, here we go, let’s be honest, let’s see how long I can keep this up with a teething almost 6 month old and a 2 year old who is obviously in his “terrible twos” stage..if that’s even a real thing. I read all these “motherhood” blogs and follow awesome people on instagram and I immediately think, “why can’t I be like that?” Then, I remind myself, “I can’t be like that because that’s not who I am.” Nowhere close…
I’m not out to offend anyone and I’m, in no way, saying that I hate my life or motherhood. To be honest, I love my life as a mother. I love the fact that I just had to get up and clean the vomit off my shirt and pants from my 5 month old’s recent meal. Time for his reflux medicine! I love that my 2 year old just passed out on top of his sippy cup which is leaking all over the couch. I love that my 5 month old now has the hiccups and is screaming in my ear. Yes, I can be quite sarcastic, but I really do love all those things. Without them I wouldn’t be a mother.
I’m simply looking for an outlet..maybe some advice or maybe just a “hey, I know exactly what you’re going through.” I’ve just seen too many photos and blogs with these wonderful photos and words expressing how beautiful their journey through motherhood has been. I want to be able to relate to other mothers, not make my life look like it’s all sunshine and rainbow colored unicorn farts. Sure, I could take wonderful photos of my boys and paint a pretty picture with inspirational words too but that’s not how it is 24/7. I have minutes, sometimes hours, of where my day is going great and I love it but most of my time is spent wanting to crawl in bed with a “do not disturb” sign on my bedroom door…if I had a bedroom door.
This has been my journey through motherhood thus far and I can honestly say, I wouldn’t change one thing.